The Oracle

ok i had a dream last night that was a bit out of the ordinary. its faded alot by now, but there is at least one detail i remember. it was my parents in it again and this time it was my dad being mean and my mum sticking up for me. its a right mare that i can't remember that dream.

Consider your current situation with family and I think that one suddenly makes a lot of sense. There be an omen in that one

honestly i think its just a hope.
when my sister contacted me she said my parents we're asking about the kids. and my spideysense told me thats all they cared about. i felt a stubborn will about the kids. a kind of 'you say we can't see them so we'll just try to contact them instead' teenage thing. but i felt a distinct coldness aimed towards me. i pretty much felt it like i would love from turk.
i guess there is still a part of me that just wants a family that actually, shock horror love me for who i am and what i am, and when i was contacted they had that old effect on me where i felt like a mean little girl who was doing something to spite them. and that maybe if i talked to them, they would warm to me again. thats why i was so angry. if it wasn't for turk, his family and my friends, i really would whole heartedly believe what they say about me.
and i really do fear that i am turning into my mother.
so i guess my dreams manifest a real family in absence of a real one in the waking world.

That's what I mean by omen, something is trying to tell you something my friend and you are bang on the mark with family. You've admitted your desire to have a family that cares for you. Well you also said in the same breath that you do.

My opinion is focus on what you have, Turk and the bundles of fun

yet again i can only really remember a few details of last nights dream. i know it was another normal life one, there was no particular plot.

ok so i walked into the front room and went to the computer desk and saw a huge pile of mail. the first one was obvious, cadno had sent my photos back. the second one was a few more of the photos and i somehow knew that the little note inside said that he'd forgotten a few. and infact all of the mail was more photos cadno had forgotten to put in the first package. some were in clear plastic envelopes.
i opened them all and was holding the photos in my hand, and someone, i think it might of been cadno, someone i know and trust, but i'm not sure who saw a photo in the stack and pulled it out. it was a picture of me and my sister as kids. one of our old school photos. i must have only been 4 or 5 in the photo (its actually a real photo, but not one of the ones i sent to cadno. that would be too embarassing!) and he said 'thats the one!' and started talking about it.

thats all i remember about the dream.

ok, i've spotted a bit of a repetitive theme lately. i keep seeing heart shapes everywhere. there have been feathers on the ground, leaves, even a wet patch on the sofa (rhiannon spilt some bubble mixture), this afternoon i saw two swans making a heart shape (i always equate the goddess branwen with swans and she is one of my patrons), just lots and lots of things in the shape of hearts!

ok i need to type this up before i either return to bed or run to the loo to vomit (i had to stop my meds co i couldn't afford them till this week, and it has really played havoc).

ok, it was very Lion Witch and the Wardrobe. me and three others associated with each other (but not related) were travelling to a big old hotel. but we weren't all together. i was travelling with one of them, a girl, and the other two who were called Lucy and Tim got there later.
The drive up to the hotel really reminded me of the driveway up to ramsdale golf course, but it was a bit different (for starters the hotel was infront of the main approach, not to the right). it was a windy road and was up a hill.

numerous things happened butt he main one was that we fought this evil being. he was big, black and kinda shiny, not quite human. anyway we defeated him and sealed him back in his casket and we took two rough but very beautiful diamond with us to prevent him rising again. the idea was that we would drop them into the middle of the ocean to stop anyone finding them. we were discussing how we would protect them when we dropped them in the ocean (any damage to them would release the evil guy) when someone dropped one. (at this point i should mention there were other people with us. a middle aged lady, a short tubby man, and a child). we had enough time to look at one another before .....

again i was travelling with the other girl. we were reliving the day. thistime we did something different and after defeating the bad guy again we were walking back to the train station (which was quite a walk). we were off the main driveway and walking down the wooded lane (quite wide though) that lead to the driveway and we came to an open gate. on either side of the gate were these kind of gargoyle lion but not things. each had a crystal sphere in its mouth. they were kind of glowing, but not visibly. i know that doesn't make any sense but its hard to describe.
a while after passing through the gate something didn't feel right. we talked about it and someone said that when we passed through the gate someone had deactivated the gargoyle things. i said they couldn't have cos if they did the bad guy was breaking free as we spoke.....

start of the day again. after defeating the bad guy this time to seal him in his casket we took two scrolls. they were about 3 or 4 inches long with ornate ends and there were three or four layers of the paper, each a slightly different colour ( the top colour was like paper stained with coffee). each layer had some form of writing on it. the second layer was much thinner than the others and while one the way to the trainstatin and nearly there i was looking at the scrolls when part of the second layer ripped off and i just had time to tell the others when....

the day started again. this time while fighting the bad dude i was killed. the dead woman i fell on and i kinda rose as ghosts and watched the battle. i watched the others die one by one. the battle was on a small staircase.

the day starts again. on the train i ask the other girl what time lucy and tim would get to the hotel because we really need to talk about what we were going to do this time. we had just gotten to the hotel and we were walking up to the door..

when turk came in and said he had to go pick up rhiannon from nursery so i had to go in the front room to keep an eye on cam.

the clothing in the dream was kinda 1940s wartime, but without the gas masks.

and now i really need to go and lie down

i remembered a few more details.

the people (the three others) that i was with, the unamed girl and lucy, i didn't know form real life, but knew in the dream. tim however... i know one tim it could have been, it felt almost like him, but i'm not sure if it was him.

another things is that it wasn't in technicolour. it was almost like it was in a slight sepia effect. the clothes were all earthy browny kinda colours, with some beigy colours. nothing bright.

the bad guy. like i said, all black and shiny, but like high gloss shiny and red eyes.
i wish i could draw cos then you could see him. its all still so vivid in my head.

i realised this morning while in a half asleep mode that there is a repeating...not theme really, more a feature, or detail. a door that won't lock. it has a slide lock on it, but it won't work. the lock is one from my bedroom door in notts where you would just slide a little bolt across. you had to push the door with your shoulder to get it to lock. in my dreams, i do that, but while the bolt did slide across, it hasn't locked the door. i remember in one dream i was running from someone and i tried to lock the door but it wouldn't lock no matter how many times i tried and i had to hold the door shut with my body. its been in several dreams but never a main feature.

i had another odd dream last night. well actually it was this morning after i'd gone back to bed from doing the first shift (5.30am to 7am) with the kids.

its all a bit muddled so bear with me.

i was a doctor of some kind with an interest gynaecology. my friend thomasin was pregnant. and my sister and her ex husband were with her, almost like it was their baby or something but not quite. we weren't in a hospital, more like a clinic or something. but then i went off work and went home to this flat. then i went to my parents house (its not the one they actually live in) and it was on a winding road on a hill. and if you stood on the street, there was a field next to it but the right side has lots of machines and it was like they were clearing the field to build something. but the left half was beautiful with rolling hills behind it. there was tension between me and my parents. they were still acting like my defective sister was perfect and that i should try and be her.
then i went back to the clinic type thing and examined thomasin. i couldn't do it for some physical reason (on her not me) and we said we had to perform a procedure so we could check the baby. we had alot of trouble finding the equipent and i drove to somewhere to try and find it. eventually it got too late and it had to be scheduled for the next day. but i was leaving and i gutted i couldn't do the procedure because i really wanted to.
then i was actually in my car leaving. and thats all i remember.

i had a dream last night and it is bugging the hell out of me. it wasn't plot orientated it was just like i was living a life.
ok, the bit that is bugging me is this -
i was in a open top bus, but it didn't have a second level. i was with friends on some kind of trip. like school trip it kinda felt like. sitting behind me was an old friend called mike. coincidentally he used to sit behind me in business studies too and we went out for like 2 or 3 weeks. i haven't even seen him for about 6 years. anyway i had a female friend sitting next to me and we were talking about my hair, which was longer than it is now. i had just dyed it and we were discussing the colour. again, coincidentally i am dying my hair tonight and the colour in the dream is the colour i'm dying it tonight. i said that i was a bit disappointed it wasn't redder. and mike behind me was playing with a bit of it. running it through his fingers. it felt nice but not in a sexual way i just has a passing thought of 'that feels nice'. and then i noticed something. a small lump on the back of my head. now i had a big lump of bone there when i was pre teen and till i was 15 when it was removed and i was told it might grow back. and i said to my friends, oh no its growing back. but mike said don't worry and kept playing with my hair.

i didn't remember this dream until about 2 hours ago when i suddenly had the urge to feel if it was growing back and i expected to feel that it was. that lump caused me endless migraines and having it removed meant being migraine free for about a year and a half. and i am terrified if it is going to grow back because i remember the agony of when doctors used to prod it and see if it would move. and why mike?

i had a wierdish dream this morning.

me and some friends had just done this...i don't know what to call it but we had to go through lots of obstacles, and at the end on our way home we got a lift up a hill on this ermmm, thing. like a horse drawn litter, you know when in old times wounded soldiers were bought home on the litter attached at the head end to a horse. it was made of light brown suade tied to a wooden frame with dark brown cord. and the guy next to me gave me a set of runes. well 4 of them. they were caramel coloured rectangles with dark honey striations. he said they were out collecting runes and to get them you had to cast your a rune on the ground and you'd find another ready for 'runing', but you could only pick them up if you found a pair. and you had to do this while the litter was moving. i managed to find four or five pairs , one pair was made of slate. and when i laid them infront of me one pair actually had three. they were like spear shaped with points at both ends and the same colour as the original runes.
at the end we were under a tent and the other were discussing what was best to use as a glue to attach stones on the end. most answers were quite conventional but one guy said mayonaise. and thats all i remember!

i literally just remembered part of one of my dreams from this morning (i don't sleep a lot at night).
i was getting a tattoo done. by a nice woman, and we were talking while she drew it freehand (a nice custom bit of work). and part of it was a flower. she was doing it where my phoenix is now on my inner right arm. what was odd was that she would tattoo a line, and then some more. i might be able to draw it. the flower was a big cherry blossom and there were blues and pinks swirling around it.
and i said to the tattooist 'i would love to be a tattoo artist but i can't draw!'

i had a really vivid dream about having a baby last night. he was a beautiful baby boy, which is quite annoying cos i'm broody enough as it is. there wasn't anything out of the ordinary about the dream, no special circumstances, just the labour and birth of my son.

another dream from last night was a bit weird. i was as i am now, all grown up, but i was at my school in notts, CFS, and also my primary school (they are basically on the same campus right next to each other), Sherbrooke. and there was a fire on the far part of the school and we were just outside my old year 5 classroom (1) talking about it wondering how it started when something across the road from us blew up (2)(i'll have to draw a map cos it gets confusing)(edit - map done will, post at the end of this ramble). and its not something that exists in the real world (as you'll see from the map. it was a mormon temple that looked like a mix between byzantine and greek. not big either. we were all really shocked and someone who came up to us said the school thinks it a terrorist attack of some sort and we don't know what will be next.

So we went round to the art rooms (3) ad found some other people. and we went through the building till we got to my old year 7 tutor room (4) and we were sitting at the tables waiting for something, i don't know what. and then i looked at the window and two ravens were trying to get in. then a third joined them and i knew they were trying to warn me about something so i let them in. they freaked out everyone else but i heard them talking to me, telling me i had to take everyone away because there was danger.
so i told everyone we had to leave, and i think we did. not sure cos i woke up right after that.

Hiya Hon.

You've been busy!

OK, the Big Bad Dream reflects the recurring problems with family and general nastiness. No matter what you do this same damn problem keeps popping it's head up. I'd saythe one on the bus with the regrowth of a previous problem is a reflection of same.

The Gyenae dream I think is your desire to have another baby as is the birth one, but you said that yourself in the beginning.

I think perhaps the last one is a warning against self sabotage. I do this all the time; talk myself in and out of something and end up postponing an actual outcome usually to my detriment until I get a kick up the bum; The Ravens! It's relfected in the Tattoo dream as well, having another design where one already exists.

I'm SO sorry I've been away so long Hon. I hope things are getting a bit easier for you these days.